Mythical creatures are found in books, video games, cartoons and fiction movies, but I bet you had no idea that you interact with them on an everyday basis. To make matters worse you could be one of them and not even know it. Why? Well because these creatures have cast aside their inhuman form and most of their abilities, and they now walk among us disguised as humans. Luckily, you can still identify them, since their behaviour rarely deviates too much from the well-established lore.
Unlike Sam and Dean in Supernatural you won’t have to kill all the monstrous entities (since, most probably, it isn’t the family business for you). You won’t have to do anything that gruesome, all you need to know is how to uncover the true identity of the creature and how to interact with it from that point forward.
Fortunately JK Rowling didn’t only warn us about these creatures, but she also presented us with an effective way to deal with them: Chocolate. It’s true, every time you feel gloomy and sad is because a dementor’s nearby (it just might be that he’s disguised as your manager, or the annoying colleague from accounting). The only thing you can do till the gloominess passes is to consume chocolate, so you’d better stock up.
In fact, anyone can be a dementor, because you can’t really spent at least eight hours a day with someone (every day) and not annoy them. Even you can be a dementor, are you obsessed with a project you have and can’t shut up about it? I can guarantee you that you’re as good as a dementor to your cubicle mate. Even if the topic itself is interesting Dementors can extinguish the last spark of interest you had for it, making it impossible for you to ever enjoy it. We know that the Patronus spell is the best way to repel Dementors, but we can’t do magic, so we must resort to the following solution:
Headphones – as long as these are on, you will be an invisible target. Pretend you are busy and dementors will pass you by.
2. Drekavac (Screamer)
This is a creature from Slavic mythology and the literal translation of its name is “screamer”. Even though it is not as hostile as folklore wants us to believe, the Drekavac is unaware of the frequency of its own voice. No earplugs or headphones will help you, since the sound is so potent it will make your ears bleed.
Even a minor conversation with the Drekavac has the same effect as spending a night in the first row of a Megadeth concert. Luckily, the Drekavac is easy to counter, since it can easily become self-aware if you raise your voice when communicating with it. Once it becomes aware of its eardrum-shattering voice, the Drekavac will start speaking in a softer tone.
These demonic entities rely on their power of seduction to influence those around them. Although they can be real eye candy, it is dangerous to allow them to accumulate popularity, because others will put them on a pedestal and they’ll receive special treatment. Succubus/Incubus have insatiable hunger when it comes to feeding their egos, so denying them compliments and attention can suppress these urges to dominate.
When you notice that someone tries hard to look attractive and often flirts with other co-workers, ignore them and never acknowledge their efforts to be more attractive. They are not particularly dangerous, but in case you wind up arguing with one of them, those who adore them will take their side, making you the bad guy in the whole ordeal. Basically, you need to deny them the opportunity to manipulate you and you’ll be fine.
These troublemakers are always up to no good. They constantly try to be the funny ones in the office, and do all sorts of things to provoke laughter, even insulting other co-workers. This type of behaviour in the office is dangerous if others are affected by this spirit, because a level of seriousness must be maintained.
In order to stop trolls you need to thwart their ploy, and ignore their cries for attention. A single laughter is enough to encourage their behaviour, thus you must make other people aware of what they are doing by feeding the goblin. Alternatively, goblins hate when the tables are turned, so give them a taste of their own medicine through pranking, making fun of their mistakes etc. Use one or both techniques and, gradually, the goblin will be subdued.
No, this is not a hidden arsonist, this is someone who is too productive for their own good. The phoenix is a bird that constantly burns, and it does so until it is reduced to ash, after which it is reborn and the cycle continues. Even though it seems cool, having a phoenix as a worker is very counterproductive.
They are determined to prove themselves, and take on an incredible amount of workload, but just like the Phoenix, they burn out quickly. While the Phoenix is in its ash state, it either does not work, or works at an extremely slow pace. If you are to subdue the Phoenix you need to monitor its workload more closely and ensure that the workload in the office is evenly distributed. If tasks are undistributed, the Phoenix will see that as an opportunity to shine, take it all and burn out, leaving you to pick up the pieces.
God watches over drunks and fools, and the Leprechaun is both. This is a cheery person and, for some reason incredibly lucky, which is why it has a sort of devil-may-care attitude. Everybody wants to be around leprechauns and they usually create a fun atmosphere, which can sometimes be counterproductive.
If you don’t want every day at your workplace to have a name of an alcoholic drink attached to it, keep the office leprechaun in check. Furthermore, make sure you do not kill its spirit completely, for it might be the reason why people love the workplace.
If your first guess was that Gargoyle is someone who comes stoned to work, you are wrong, that is more of a Leprechaun thing. Just like on gothic cathedrals, Gargoyles just sit in their corner and mind their own business. They are silent, obedient, and basically have no plans of their own. If one or more workers at you place are too quiet and just do as they are told and mind their own business, you have a gargoyle problem on your hands.
If the gargoyle population increases, other workers will become like them, and the entire workplace will become depressive and gloomy. You need to go all warlock on the gargoyle and reanimate it, organize team building exercises in order to make sure that the gargoyle feels welcome in the supernatural creature’s camp.
See Also: Become an Office Superhero
There are other behavioural patterns, of course, but I am still not sure which creatures these patterns are harbouring underneath the human visage. I am beginning to suspect that people with anger management issues are werewolves, and that people who come late to work and stay late at night are vampires, but more research is needed. If you have any interesting findings, feel free to share them.